Allergies and special diets
Allergy information is the easiest detail to collect and the easiest to lose again. It comes in bits and pieces, in messages, over several months, and in the end it needs to be correct on a single list that someone else will cook from. Here's a way to do it that doesn't depend on you remembering everything.
Ask in the same breath as you ask for an RSVP
The best moment to ask about allergies is the very moment a guest says yes. They're already thinking about the event, and they avoid being asked twice. If you put the question in a separate form later on, you'll get answers from about half of them and have to chase down the rest.
Ask one open question, not a checklist
A list with "gluten / lactose / nuts / vegetarian" looks tidy, but it's always missing something, and guests tick whatever's closest instead of describing what actually applies to them. An open field — "allergies or special diet?" — gives you sentences you can pass straight on: "coeliac, needs to be completely gluten-free", "vegetarian, eats fish", "allergic to shellfish". That's the kind of information a kitchen can actually act on.
Keep allergy and preference separate in what you pass on
For the kitchen, these are two completely different things. A nut allergy is a safety issue; not liking mushrooms is just a nicety. You don't need to sort it yourself — just leave the guest's own words as they are, and the kitchen will see the difference straight away. Problems arise when everything's been rewritten into shorthand and "coeliac" has turned into "gluten-free, sort of".
Tie the allergy to the table, not just to the name
When the food is served, the waiting staff need to know which table the gluten-free plate is going to. A list with just names has to be matched against the seating chart by someone, usually on the day itself, by someone in a hurry. If the allergy is attached to the guest, and the guest is placed at a table, that list falls into place on its own — name, table, and what they can't eat.
Send the list once, and update it once more
Give the caterer a provisional count of special diets once the RSVP deadline has passed, and a final list a few days before the event. Agree in advance on how late they'll accept changes. That way both sides know what's what, and you won't be calling about a nut allergy at nine o'clock the night before.
Don't forget the children and the plus-ones
The allergies most often forgotten are those of people who aren't on the guest list under their own name: children who "come with their parents," and a plus-one approved late. Give them their own row once they're confirmed, so they're counted in both the food and the seating.
Frequently asked questions
How do I phrase the question on the invitation?
Short and open: "Do you have any allergies or need special food? Let us know when you reply." That's enough. No one needs to explain why.
Should I offer a vegetarian option to everyone?
That's a matter of taste and budget, but it's worth asking the caterer what it costs to have a few extra portions on hand. It solves the problem of both late replies and people who changed their minds.
What if someone reports an allergy after the list has been sent?
Send a quick update to the kitchen with the name, table, and what it concerns. Most will accept changes up until a couple of days before — ask what their deadline is when you place the order.
Do I need to note allergies for people who aren't coming?
No. Only those who will actually be seated at the table need to go on the list for the kitchen.
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